How We Affect Others

Sometimes I wonder how much my words and actions effect people. To understand this I tend to look at my own life and how other people have affected me.
I would like to share some experiences along this line in order to convey my thoughts.
As we all know, the people around us can affect the way we act, and the way we think. For instance, when I am with my family I am often angry and impatient, where as when I am with my friends I am usually calm and patient and willing to go along with what others want to do as long as it fits into my moral standards. Most of the time I am very quiet when I am in a group of friends, or in a meeting, but when I am in a one on one conversation with a friend, I can be very opinionated. When I am in a group where something has to be done, I tend to take charge and get it done, but in most circumstances I do not like to volunteer for anything. When I am among a bunch of people that I don’t know, I tend to stick close to a dark corner, and hope to go unnoticed.
Why are we like this? Why do we change who we are when we are with different groups of people?
Well some of it is characteristics that we were born with. For instance, I am often put in a position of leadership where I am depended on to make sure something is done. I believe that I was born with the characteristic of being a leader, and even though I am not a very good leader at times, I work hard and it usually works out.
But a lot of it is that we act upon what other people think of us and teach us. Even if we don’t like that person, there opinions affect us. A lot of our habits came from our parents. They teach us there knowledge, and we become who we are by what we are thought. For instance, I would never go to an auto repair shop to fix a car, I can fix it my self. I am this way because my father is this way.
More then just our parents affect us, we are effected by a lot of people. I remember an experience back in 4th grade where I was made fun of for breathing hard after riding my bike to school. The person who made fun of me probably does not remember, but it is still a very vivid experience in my mind. I believe that this experience and many others are the reason why, as I mentioned, I like to stick close to dark corners and try to go unnoticed. This I believe is also why I use a picture I have made, and not a picture of my self as my display picture.
In contrast, I have a bunch of friends who are very careful not to say anything that would make anyone feel lower then them. I have great respect for these friends because they are working hard every day to be the best they can be. They may not realize it, but these friends have affected many people in good ways. One example of this is a person I met a while ago who, when I met him, was a very quite person. He has been part of this group of friends, and over the past few years I have seen him change. He has become a person who you can carry a conversation with without any problem. Through this group of friends he has become more confident.

As I look at these experiences I wonder if I have ever said anything that has ever hurt someone.
I realize that my opinion of people often effects what I say to them. For instance, when I am with someone I don’t like, I tend to have a frustrated tone in my voice even though I try not to make it evident that I don’t like that person. Where as when I am around people that I don’t have any problem with I tend to be very sarcastic. If I am very angry with someone, I tend to show that anger, and I think that is when I say things that can be hurtful. So I guess I have something to work on there. In most cases, I try to keep my mouth shut and listen until I am required to talk, that way I can keep the hurtful comments to a minimum.

Anyway, what do you think about how words and actions effect people?